Sir Knitted Knight Helmet Hat
Sir Knitted Knight Helmet Hat
£12.99 – £14.99
A hat so good that it was knighted.
Unless you have not left the house recently (very possible with all that’s been going on), you will have noticed that it has got both DARKER and COLDER. This hat won’t help you with the first point, but it will certainly help you with the latter. You will be WARMER if you wear this hat vs. no hat.
Many, many people have told us that this hat is not KNITTED and in fact CROCHET. That is indeed factually correct, but please see the tale of the Knits of the Round table below for more on this important debate.
- Available in both adult and child sizes
- Made from acrylic wool – hypoallergenic & easy to clean
- Adult: head circumference 52cm approx
- Child: head circumference 48cm approx
- Our bestselling product.
Points about DARKER, COLDER and WARMER aside, this hat is also HISTORICAL, as the label says KNIGHT HAT. But it does kind of look like a ROMAN HELMET too. You get to double up on the history for one single price.
There’s sort of a face covering on it, but it’s knitted, so probably best buy one of our face coverings instead rather than relying on it.
Uncover the legend of the Knits of the Round Table below…
- It is great against COLDER weather
- We have trialled this hat walking up the Old Man of Storr at 6.30am, up Sgùrr na Banachdaich in a HAILSTORM* and across Southern Dartmoor in HORIZONTAL RAIN
- We can confirm that it more than ‘sufficed’ on all occasions – sometimes it was TOO WARM and TOO COMFORTABLE
- Our product reviewer was indeed so delighted with the Knitted Knight Helmet Hat that on his return from said adventures, he believed it FAR MORE than ‘sufficed’, and he drew his handcrafted wooden sword and thus KNIGHTED the Knitted Knight’s Helmet Hat
- And he thus declared this product SIR Knitted Knight’s Helmet Hat, and bowed down in its honour
After much pointing out that Sir Knitted Knight Helmet hat was in fact ‘Crochet’ we decided the only way was to settle it via Twitter vote. We did ask the people of the realm and they submitted answers, and the vote was a clear victory for the Knitters.
Thus the Knitted Knight Helmet Hat REMAINS Sir Knitted Knight Helmet Hat. There are several other reasons why it should also REMAIN Sir Knitted Knight Helmet Hat. ‘Crochet’ unfortunately does not allow for many puns and alliteration as SIR KNITTED KNIGHT HELMET HAT.
Then there was much merriment with puns and jokes on this great debate:
Well whether knitted or crochet I wouldn’t complain if I got a knight hood. 😉
— Kris Viking (@MrKrisViking) November 22, 2020
Don’t be a knitwit bury the crochet… https://t.co/A53sosvPIz
— AintNobody🗿 (@NotNobody5) November 22, 2020
Is this what they mean when they talk about “knit” picking? https://t.co/zQMjgv80dg
— Nick DuCate (@Nick_duCat) November 22, 2020
— Shannon Murray Kuleto (@ShannonKuleto) November 22, 2020
Surely the knights who say Knit is more catchy that the knights who say Crochet? https://t.co/0IfG9u9p02
— Amy (@amy_greenwell) November 22, 2020
But there was still so much punnery to give on our Subscriber Whatsapp Group…
- Might be some needle from pun haters.
- They’ll be very cross (knit)
- Knit a problem
- It’s gone too far now, there should be blanket ban on stitch jokes
- Going to have to drop this thread if the knitting puns don’t unravel.
- They’re just looking for another way to fleece people
- Stop! This shear madness!
- Too baaaaaaaaad
Phew, I think we’re finished.
* Perfect for a hailstorm indeed. On Easter Monday 1360 Edward III’s army was hit by a freak hailstorm, but no one was wearing the Knitted Knight’s Helmet Hat. He had to sue for peace with the French King – so… just put 2+2 together. You may also want to double up this delightful WARM hat with the Henry V Plantagenet Hoodie for a fuller, well-bodied medieval look. But, as said in this rather convoluted product description, it still will not help in the DARK AGES (because THEY NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!)